I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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