one might say we're banned from that church
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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