Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so Iβd say itβs safe to say it was a good weekend
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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