Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
