Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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