Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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