The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
