Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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