In the future we'll all be gay
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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