Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
