i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
