YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
