he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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