"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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