I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's just like the Real World with babies
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
