What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
