omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize