i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
