dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
