Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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