So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
