Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
