Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Your cock deserves a montage
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
