Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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