I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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