Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
