I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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