I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
