The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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