I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
