HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The adults are the big ones right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
