I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize