No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
