farters have to be the big spoon...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
