Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
