I can't watch pbs sober anymore
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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