If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
