I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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