hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
