think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just had sex bonerless
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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