where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
