Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
