Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
