Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Someone shattered a urinal.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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