I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
