hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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