omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
