I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
