i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
