its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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