My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
