the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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