Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
