my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
