I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
