Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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