when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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