She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
