True but thats because hes a fetus.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
