Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
